I bet you enjoy feeling confident. When anyone approaches a task with confidence they aren’t thinking about that confidence. They just get on with it.
You never consider how confident you are at getting dressed in the morning. You just do it.
However, if you have to give a speech that day and you are not feeling self-assured, well, that’s a different story. The negative voice inside your head is probably besieging you thoughts of how you are going to fail, make a fool of yourself, etc.
Confidence is a paradox. We think that if we become confident, then we’ll be able to complete the task (perfectly). In fact, the opposite is the case. Confidence comes after the action, not before. As the old saying goes ‘Right action leads to right thinking’.
This is where fear plays its part. With a lack of confidence we become fearful that we will ‘do it wrong’ and things won’t work out properly, that things won’t be OK. But would you be concerned about not knowing how to dress properly? I expect not. That’s because presumably you know how to dress!!
In this case, fear’s role is to keep you ‘safe’ from the consequences of the big or unknown task (e.g. the speech). It may even make you feel so uncomfortable that you actually back away from the task itself. This fear will also give you reasons as to why you aren’t ready or up to the task.
But what would happen if you chose to ignore the negative self-talk? What would happen if you let go of the need to get it absolutely right? What would happen if you just dived in and made the speech?
Likewise, what would happen if you chose to focus on the reason you are making that speech? Perhaps it’s part of a wedding and your goal is to bring joy and humour to the occasion. What if you made a similar speech at 1,000 weddings, would you feel the same level of fear and anxiety? I doubt it.
Remember, confidence comes from doing. So, seize every opportunity you get, face the discomfort and just do it. It’ll be worth it.
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